A blog on Peace after violence

It is a myth that things cannot grow in dark places. In fact, most seeds begin their journey within the embrace of Mother Earth. Enveloped in the soil that shapes them, they grow first in dependence, then in agency.

We are the same. We are the soil, seeds within. Some of our seeds sprout in poisoned soil, desolate deserts, or midst mesmerizing hurricanes. Others germinate deep within a beautiful vault in our soul. This vault can only be described as our truest, most sincere essence. As a survivor of gender violence, I have learned that the seeds within our soul-vault can grow through violence into beauty. Reach in, connect with those seeds, and growth is imminent.

The following painting is one of my first. It’s called “Triggered,” and is the first in my “Liminality” series. As I embarked on my journey of recovery, I reached into my soul-vault and pulled out some paint. I hadn’t painted in a long time. I wielded my first brush since high school, and tore down a core belief about my creative abilities … and built a new one: art is immaterial, and reflects the seeds germinating within souls. For me, to paint is to cultivate those seeds and, in doing so, to heal. Through nurturing my soul-seeds, I had begun my journey from pain toward peace.

With “Triggered,” I express those moments during which I chose to confront the violent events that caused me trauma. Hunched over. Life force spilling. Spine melting. Flight in mind. But frozen. Heart in gut. Beating. Still beating. Still beating. Staying alive. Because I have chosen to rise. This painting embodies the feeling of being triggered. It also signifies the strength a survivor needs to continue along a path of healing. To nurture her soul-seeds. To find beauty after violence.